New Old Blog

Hey there...I quit blogging at the beginning of the year...I recently decided to try again so here's my new blog address: www.troyerlife.blogspot.com So check it and leave comments!!

Thoughts on the Year...

Happy New Year!!!

I was thinking about this past year....the ups and downs and everything in between. I realized the last few years have been so good and so bad... Yet in some areas they have been better than good. Instead of feeling bad about those bad decisions, situtations etc...I should feel blessed. I'm so blessed...so this year I decided to reflect on all the blessings God has given me.

*a wonderful, romantic, loving, Godly, kind, sweet, understanding, supportive husband.
*good family
*great friends
*two amazing church families
*answered prayers
*good hobbies
*pretty good health
*financial support
*healed relationships
*great memories
*a wonderful dog
*a nice to place to live
*a dependable car
*grace, mercy,and forgiveness

....just to name a few. God is so good and I'm so blessed. I choos to look at the good and praise Him, when there is bad I can rely on God and the people He has blessed me with and move on. This next year I feel is gonna be different in so many ways...I hate to make resolutions(they are hard to keep) but these ones I know I can keep.

*attend biblestudy regularly and do the homework in advance.
*journal daily
*exercise daily
*prayer time daily
*get pregnant
*weekly dates with my hubby
*spend even more time with family and friends
*no coffee
*pay off debt
*be more compassionate and loving

>God, I commit this year to You! Everything I do, say, plan, hope for...is Yours. I know You are God and You work all things together for good to those who love you and are called according to Your purpose. I choose to serve you and love you no matter what. Please give me the strength I need daily...please God help Jeph and I with all the things we are committing to. We give this year to you....We love you and thank you so much for all your going to do and all you have done.

Amen

Update!!!

Hey there, I have been so busy I haven't blogged in awhile. So much has been happening. I'll start with the weekend after Thanksgiving...Jeph and I had volunteered to help at the quiz meet saturday so we were there all day being quiz masters and Jeph had to lead worship, so from 7am-5pm we were at the camp for that. Then with the storm coming in...we had noone at our Civil War party...so our friends Matt and Crissy came over and we had a steak dinner and watched the BEAVERS beat the Ducks!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!! So Sunday was full as always and then the storm hit. We ended up driving down the coast with friends and experienced some awesome waves and wind...of course amazing Thai food! We got home and decided to watch a movie"Facing the Giants" (great movie!!!) By 11pm no power and it did not come back on for 2 days. We played games by candlelight, cooked on the bbq and were cooped up with my mom and dad(in law), Alex(exchange student), Scott and Jess(brother and sis in law)and a niece and nephew...it was fun but exhausting and tiring. :) Thank goodness for family to hang out with during the storm! ;)
Once the storm was over the week was met with my serious cold...so I missed bible study X2 and a Christmas party and the weekend was no time to rest. Friday we were supposed to head over to Portland(date night to a hockey game) we did not go. Saturday we went to Portland for my grandpa Bobs memorial, then it was off to Sarah(sis in laws)birthday dinner at Reinlander...all while sick. :( To top it off Sunday we were supposed to go to the Seahawks game...but I was so sick. You know how sick I must be if I don't go to a Seahawks game!!!
By Monday I was glad the weekend was over and very bummed about missing the Seahawks game. :(
On a good note...we got our tree decorated and lights are up and it looks and smells like Christmas. :) It turns out our young adults bible studies are gonna have a Christmas party and I'm so glad. Especially since I wanted to do it but I have no time to plan it myself. So the next week and a half should be festive.
It's Wednesday morning and I'm not really sick anymore....last night we had dinner with Scott,Jess, and kids...we got to hang out and it was so nice. :)
The rest of the week is busy but I'm feeling optimistic about it. I will post some holiday pics soon!
Have a good week!

Thankful

I have been spending the last few weeks busy, busy...I have got to spend lots of time with family and all the people I love. I have been able to put some issues with some certain people behind me..forgive and then move on. I'm so thankful for that...I've been so thankful for the weather lately, enjoying the fall leaves and crisp football games have been so wonderful!
As this year is starting to come to a close....I find myself more at peace, more relaxed, more grateful, more focused, and so much more happy and content.

Things I'm thanful for
* Gods provision, power, love, grace, mercy, forgiveness
* my loving patient husband
* all of my family
* good, genuine, honest, loyal friends
* wonderful church families
* football
* good coffee
* beach
* Tillamook brand dairy products
* shopping
* the holidays
* multiple chances
* the hope of a new year with new things.


I am thankful for the holidays finally being here...I'm looking forward to decorating our home, tree, baking, christmas parties, carols, weather, family gatherings, candlelight service. I'm so thankful that Christ was born and that we can celebrate the season all month long.

In Memory of Bob

This past month Jeph and I took a trip with my dad and stepmom to Anacortes Washington(2 hours north of Seattle) to basically say goodbye to my step grandpa. His name was Bob and he was closer to us then either of our own grandpas. He died friday October 19 2007....we didn't get our chance to say goodbye but he knew we were coming and he was excited to see us.

We spent the whole weekend being with Alice (his wife) who is my step grandma....she's the kind of person who when she meets you...brings you into the family and you feel like her flesh and blood. :) It rained off and on all weekend...we spent time with Wendys(stepmom)step-siblings(Bobs kids) and we had a nice time. On the way home...we stopped to take pictures of one of best spots in Anacortes. This picture is of us...on Fidalgo Bay. We took it to remember all the good times we had with Bob. He will be missed!!:)

I just wanted to encourage anyone who reads this, to tell those you love that you love them, hug them before you say goodbye, and don't rush around to much during the holidays who knows it may be the last holiday you spend with them.

Christmas was the last big holiday we spent with Bob....we had a good time but Jeph and I are both wishing we hadn't had to rush around so much. So slow down...take your time....and cherish every moment you have with those you love.

Boundaries

So I have been having some severe issues with a couple of family members. There is nothing like having a conversation that is so inaccurate and hurtful. I have figured out with the help of a couple of friends talking out this problem that I have some messed up boundaries. I am a people pleaser so much that sometimes I let people dictate what I say and do to prevent nasty conversations like the 2 I had last week...even though I felt 100% right about my own decisions.
It's true I have toxic people in my life and I don't handle it well. So one of my friends gave me this great article on how to deal with toxic people..I have put my favorite tips on here to hopefully help anyone else out who may have to deal with this..including a quiz to let you know if you are a person in need of boundaries.

Seek safety in numbers: If you know that a certain friend/family member tends to infect you with their negative moods, plan a group activity so you will be surrounded with others as well. Or arrange to do something...play a game, go to a movie, go shopping, rather than sitting around talking.

Visualize a wall: When toxic emotions are heading your way and you can't exit the scene or do anything to stop them, imagine that there is a shield or wall around you. You'll still hear what the other person is saying, but the emotions behind what they are saying won't get under your skin.(we'll see about that.)

"Let's talk about solutions": If your friend/family member starts complaining, say you want to help but that it makes you feel frustrated to constantly hear all the negative. Then offer to swing the problemsolving mode to them-it's best to say,"that's too bad, but what are you going to do about it?"This sends a message that it's their problem and you're not going to take responsibility for it.

"Tell me why this is so important to you": This question often silences boundary pushers on the spot(or at least causes them to stop and reflect)allowing you to take back a sense of control.

ideas to focus on:
It's probably not you. (I don't know why but I need to hear that.)When you get upset it's easy to think it's your fault and that your to sensitive. But if you feel uncomfortable with someone you need to trust your intuition.
Don't make someone else's problem your own. Try to distance yourself mentally from a negative person.
You can handle this: Take a deep breath, then silently repeat"I'm not riding their emotional rollercoaster" You'll remind yourself that you're fully capable of protecting your boundaries without making your friend feel emotionally abandoned.

Quiz:
I have trouble saying no to people.

I consistently feel tired after being with negative people.

My mood changes significantly depending on the person I'm with.

I often feel flooded with bad feelings when hearing about other's misfortunes.

When I'm with others, my entire focus is on them, rather than me and them.

I actively avoid people I should deal with-at work, for instance-because I'm afraid of how I'll feel.

If you checked one or two not to worry. More than half...you are highly sensitive. So put yourself mostly first. you may need to learn to come to your own emotional rescue before other people's moods engulf you.

I think it's important that no matter what..you can be there for people but not to the point that you suffer. I think it's important to have boundaries...the trick for me is to find where those boundaries are, not to be selfish, but not to be so drained that I'm draining to my husband and friends. I'm currently reading Boundaries and doing the workbook...I'll let you know if it helps.

Hope this helps somebody else.

Jeph the romantic...

So yesterday was a wonderfully romantic day. Some of you know how romantic Jeph can be. Well, since we started dating Jeph has done so many romantic and over the top gestures.
He has written amazing poems, songs, cards...he has created some amazing collages, art, pics turned into so much more. He has sent me on several different scavenger hunts. This man is truly a romantic!!
Yesterday was the anniversary of the day he proposed 6 years ago!

October 29, 2001...I had gone to Kadee Wiricks wedding shower and when I got back to Jephs place to watch a movie I got there and there was a note taped to the outside of the door....the note sent me to several other places where there were other notes(a scavenger hunt of sorts). I ended up at the new house his parents were building(the deck with a view of the bay/sunset one of our favorite places) he had our song "The Luckiest" playing, white lights, and rose petals everywhere..as I walked out on the deck he was behind me and I turned around...I was just thinking another wonderfully romantic evening. To my surprise he got down on one knee and told me so many wonderful things...he pulled out the ring and asked me to marry him....

I found out later he had already asked my parents and everything...this guy was so good! :)

So Oct 29, 2007...we had a romantic dinner in one of our favorite spots by candlelight, danced to our song and the rest is none of your business!!;)

Thank you God for my romantic and thoughtful husband!!!